The Power of Pause: Techniques to Control Reactive Anger

By ABS Behavioral Health

We’ve all had moments where we said or did something in anger — and regretted it almost immediately. Reactive anger is fast, loud, and often damaging. It can fracture relationships, derail work, and leave you feeling ashamed or exhausted.

But what if you could interrupt that emotional storm before it explodes?

At ABS Behavioral Health, we believe in practical tools that make emotional control possible — not just in theory, but in everyday life. This blog is designed to help you understand reactive anger and introduce “The Power of Pause” — a simple yet transformative method to take back control.

🧠 What Is Reactive Anger?

Reactive anger is an immediate emotional response to a perceived threat, insult, or frustration. It’s the kind of anger that comes without thinking — and it often comes with:

• Yelling or cursing
• Slamming doors or throwing things
• Shutting down or withdrawing
• Sarcasm or hurtful words
• Physical aggression or threats

Reactive anger is often rooted in past trauma, stress overload, or poor emotional regulation — but it doesn’t have to define you.

⏸ What Is “The Power of Pause”?

The Power of Pause is the ability to interrupt your automatic reaction before it turns into an outburst.

It’s not about bottling anger or pretending everything’s fine — it’s about giving your brain time to catch up to your emotions so you can respond rather than react.

🛠 3 Pause Techniques to Practice Daily

1. The 5-Second Rule

When anger rises, pause and count backwards: 5-4-3-2-1.
This simple delay gives your rational brain a chance to engage.

2. Name It to Tame It

Say what you’re feeling — either silently or aloud.
“I’m angry.” “I feel disrespected.” “I’m overwhelmed.”
Naming emotions activates the thinking part of your brain and calms the emotional part.

3. Take a Physical Reset

Walk out of the room. Take a cold drink of water. Splash cold water on your face.
Changing your physical state changes your emotional intensity.

🎥 Anger Management Video Series

We’ve hand-picked a series of powerful YouTube videos to help you understand and manage anger more effectively:

✅ How to Control Anger Before It Controls You

Learn how to slow the reaction time and master your emotional state.

✅ Why You Explode – and How to Stop It – Therapy in a Nutshell

A practical breakdown of triggers and how to interrupt automatic reactions.

✅ 5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger

Brain science + clear techniques to transform reactive anger.

✅ 5 Ways to Manage Emotional Flooding

Understand how overwhelming emotions hijack communication — and how to restore connection.

Watch these videos when you’re calm — and revisit them when you’re in the moment.

🔄 Practice Makes Pause

Like anything else, learning to pause takes practice. Start with these ideas:

• Set an alarm with the word “PAUSE” once a day
• Write “Pause Before You React” on a sticky note and place it near your workspace
• Role-play triggering situations with a friend or therapist and practice your pause tools

💬 When to Get Help

If anger is hurting your relationships, job, or self-worth — or if you feel unable to control your reactions — it’s time to seek support.

At ABS Behavioral Health, we offer:

• Anger management therapy
• Trauma-informed care
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Personalized emotional regulation plans

You don’t have to keep reacting — you can learn to respond with strength and peace.

👉 Ready to take control of your reactions?
Contact ABS Behavioral Health today to begin the journey toward calm, confidence, and healthy communication.

📞 Call us at 718-871-4593 or 📩 Request an Appointment Online (Make Intake Appointment)
One pause can change everything.